Cash

The other day, I was standing outside my house at school, and across the street from me is a popular apartment complex for students. I was waiting for my friend to come over from the apartment complex, so I’m wait for her on the side of the ally. I think I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt; nothing special. Life of a college student.

I’m watching the gate of the complex to see her come out, and out of the corner of my eye I catch a glimpse of a pimped out Mercedes creep toward me. Then stop. Uh oh, here we go. This “pimped out” Mercedes has black tinted windows and is fully decked out in “classy” (ahem… sarcasm) upgrades. Slowly the passenger window unrolls… “What are you doing?”

I look around with a “who me?” expression… “excuse me?!” I look over and the driver – a creeeeppyyyy, slicked-back-with-so-much-hair-gel dude driving the pimp-mobile is leaning across the seats to look through the passenger window and is trying to talk to me.

“What are you doing?! You are too hott to just be standing there.” Good pick-up line… NOT.

Me: “I’m waiting for someone” as my instincts kick in and I start walking away… there is no way you could PAY me to stick around that dude…

Pimp: “Do you even know who I am!?” and drives away… thinking to myself: uh no your Re-Re… how would I know you??

So I walk up the way a little bit to get away from the guy and I run in to my friend K who is riding his bike to the gym. He stops and I tell him just what happens. K says: “He must be a porn star.” Perfect. As K and I are talking, pimp-mobile flips a U-turn, stops in front of us, and unrolls the drivers side window. Pimp puts his arm out the window with… wait for it…  AN EFFING FAN OF CASH, and not just dollar bills, but more in the sense “dolla dolla bills y’all”, and yells “YOU COULDA HAD THIS!!!!”  waits for the reaction, then drives away. THERE. IS. NO. WAY. THIS. IS. REAL. LIFE. K and I’s jaws are on the floor.

K pulls himself together, goes: “yup. A pimp.” then bikes away, leaving me with my jaw still dragging on the pavement. THEN my friend comes out from the apartment complex… she couldn’t have come like 3 minutes earlier?! Real life. Cash money.